You know you are in small town....

Sometimes the best indicator of a small town is how big the big fish think they are in what can best be described as a pond.  I have met some very interesting people in this small pond.  Try as I may to stay out of the small town antics, I am social and found myself being social in many circles.  It is funny though, not being from any of the original circles, I was always an outsider.  I never truly could keep up with the “information” passed.  Half because I never really knew who was being talked about and half because I didn’t really care.  As the outsider, there were lots of perks.  It is difficult to see the true picture while one is standing inside the frame. But, as an outsider I could stand back and stare.  I did.  And boy are there some funny things to laugh about.

First, there is this stigma in Fallon relevant to our initial status as Active Duty Military. “Ohhhhh, you are Military?”  I always wanted to answer, “Of course… why else would we be in this shithole?”  I never understood that really.  A community that thrives by way of Military Families and transition yet, most of its locals want to be nasty and unwelcoming.  The next round of questioning is the dance relative to what Rank and status you have in the Military, easily recognized as, “How much money do you make?”  The simple facts are these; no one is in the Military making millions.  We are all there serving the USA on some level.  Yes we are compensated but, not by any means worth negotiating a Class status differentiation. 

Next, the inquisitions are in who you know and what you know about them.  It is a funny thought to have but, I guess if we are not talking about ourselves or other people , what in the world would be talking about?  I have to admit, it is very easy to be dragged into.  I mean, somethings are just funny and try as I may, I am very nosey.  So, I am a guilty participant. And besides, there isn't much else to do in Fallon.

Everyone is a Sales person for some home-based Company.  You know the kind; Tupperware, Jewelry, Foods, Scrapbooking, Purses, Make-up, Childrens Books, Card making, Home Décor, wall décor, Candles, Kitchen products, and I am certain I have left some out.  And all these, I am referencing one Fallon lady hostess who sent me an invitation (handmade of course) to each.  Some party’s even had individual stations set up with multiple showcases.  Here is my take on this…  we were a single income, Active-duty Military family.  The last place I wanted to spend upwards of 50% inflation on products I didn’t even want or need was in someone’s living room.   Talk about uncomfortable.  This relationship eventually fizzled out and I stopped being invited.  Thank goodness.  However, it came at another price… small town you know.   Which nicely brigs me to  the Negative Nellies, who hold onto everything hateful from High School.   Facebook is full of them and has become a personal forum for revenge via Status updates.   Usually, I don’t know who the darts are being tossed at but, it is entertaining nonetheless.  There are lots of perks to being an outsider.  This is one.

Huggies failed me and Carters saved the day... and the carpet

Motherhood, it is a funny thing.  No one really tells you exactly how much time you will spend covered in bodily fluids and sometimes even solids.  Today was one of those days.  The kind only another Mother knows or a witness.  Myles (my middle son, who’s 3) drags in the littlest, Liam.  “He’s stinky. Liam is stinky, REALLY stinky.  You need to fix this Mom.”  Myles states.  Liam holds himself stiff and will not walk, so I pick him up.  Perfect, he is wet and yes, REALLY stinky.  Weird that he is wet.  Uh oh, I notice before the laying him down that his bottom is diaper-less.  He is wearing my favorite children’s jammies, Carters Footie “Blanket Sleeper”.  I recall pre-Motherhood, saying how ugly I thought these were and that I would NEVER make MY child wear those.  This of course was in my, “I am never having children phase.”  Giggle.

They are my favorite for a hundred reasons and today’s event makes 101 reasons.

As I start to unzip, I can see that this is getting ugly…  shitty actually, literally.  I move this situation to my Moms shower (remember, we are still homeless and staying at my Moms).  Thankfully these unzip and come off from the feet.  It would have been a horrific scene to pull overhead.  Ugh.  Saucy chunks.  All contained within the legs and the footies.  Thank you dear Carters for the rescue.  I am sad to say, these jammies have become a casualty to this Huggies failure.   Lucky for me they are $7 and after a fast cost analysis (where we are going these warm fuzzies are unnecessary) they and all their contents from last nights dinner, went into a trash bag. Damn Velcro on the diaper waist.  It happens.  And sometimes, it happens like this.

Just a fun Mommy moment I thought I would share ;)

Leaving Fallon

Making it all happen was exactly the horrific nightmare I thought it would be.  From the packing, to the selling of so many things, the movers and the last day when we watched our things get shifted around and shoved into the back of a very large shipping container.  Surreal. 

Most people will never know that feeling.  I grew up in a town full of them.  I just spent the last 5.5 years in another town very similar.  Small are towns are so wonderful for so many reasons.  But, the not-so-wonderful side is dark and yucky for the same many reasons. I will revisit this next…

 I am currently back in the same town I called home for 19 years, staying in the same home my Mom still lives. Only, this time it is our kidlets and I.  I have good days and sad.  The feelings are always that my Family is separated.  Sometimes my heart aches knowing there is such great distance and other times, I am excited to know that this is just temporary and big things await.

That last night in Fallon, I tearfully walked into the empty house that was just the shell remains of what has been our home, to say goodbye to the place where we made memories for the first five years of Dave and I being a Family.  It was much harder than I thought it would be.  In fact, it was breathtaking and devastating.  The hardest part was the attempt to hold it all in.  I just couldn’t crack or our kids would be afraid of this huge change that we have sold to them is an adventure.  It is that, a big adventure, an exciting adventure full of things to learn about the world outside our America.

I walked back outside the house and into the garage to find none other than Leslie there, prepared to pick up my big, sappy and sobbing buns off of the floor.  But, I was holding it in, barely.  The kids were loaded in the van with our suitcases.  It was official.  We were homeless and I was going to make an attempt to drive through the night to my Moms, starting our journey at 8pm after 3 days of packing and moving.  Ambitious, I know.  I didn’t make it.  I could barely keep my eyes open by midnight.  So, we pulled into the circle entry of the Turlock Holiday Inn and I pulled out my handy-dandy Mac, highjacked the Wi-Fi from Starbucks across the street, looked up the front desk number and enlisted the help of the Hotel clerk.  She went above and beyond to make this easy for me.  All three kids were asleep making for ideal driving but, I just could not stay awake another hour let alone the 2.5 we had left to drive.  So, we checked in and I signed from the car.  Then managed to wake each child and move us from the car to bed in the next 15 minutes.  I swear, I couldn’t even believe I pulled that off.   

Well, we made it.  We are in Tulare for our stint until we fly home to Dave.  I have found respite in the local gym.  There I have 2.5 hours a day of childcare to use while I regain some of my sanity.  I have tried this exercise class called, Zumba.  It is fun and Hysterical. I love it.  I love to laugh at myself. 

Dearest Leslie

You have been like finding a gem in the desert.  You are my friend, confidant and many times over, a savior of my sanity.   I admire so many things about you.  You are courageous and independent, strong and willful.   Most importantly to me, you are genuine, inside and out.  Genuinely kind, thoughtful and honest.  There are not many people who can be all these things and you are, gracefully and effortlessly. 

You have not only learned to tolerate my neurosis and me but, you have learned to ground me when I stick my head in the clouds (or a hole).  Your candid quips and witty comebacks have kept me laughing every time we are together.  In good times and bad, you are a true friend.

I can only hope you know how important your friendship has been to me and to the “us” That are my children and family, who have become what makes me.

 I look forward to many, many years of the long distance relationship it appears we are setting up.  You know the kind… gone a year, together a few days and the time seems to have never past. 

Shout out to the Women of MRANN

Motorcycles are so much fun.  Racing has made all the difference between suffrage and survival for our stay in Fallon.  For me, it has been some of the greatest, most fun, challenging, entertaining and exciting women that I am honored to have known.  Moments of extreme… everything.

Beth:  You are wonderful in so many ways.  You make it all happen… On two wheels, with your Family, your Career and your relationships; gracefully, skillfully and with finesse.  You have been an inspiration to me on all those levels and in all those ways.  Thank you for all you help in the dirt and out.

Kari: Your wicked sense of humor has been so much fun.  You are for sure an “extreme Stay-at-home Mom”. Cade is hilarious and will be missed.  I won’t forget what you taught me, “Rubbing is racing…” and sometimes you just gotta runna bioach over ;)

Dani and Katie:  “The Rosenquist Girls”, ladies you two have such great and delightful attitudes.  Your optimism and fun spirits are contagious. It has been a blast getting to know and love you both… and  to your dad, Job well Done Dave.

Chrystal: One single sentence out of your mouth Chrystal singularly made me a much better rider, “Get off your Ass.” (I can still hear your voice) Yep, that was you to me once on a downhill section giving the same advice my Husband had been saying for years.  He just didn’t quite say it like that.  You motivated me to stand up and I hold you responsible for a huge leap of improvement.  Thank you. 

Kenzie: I have loved seeing you out there.  It is exciting to me to look forward to seeing my own little Sienna grow into a lovely little lady like yourself.

Sherri, Suxy Q and LemonDrop Laura:  You gals are total awesomeness.  I am gonna totally miss out.  Have a great time, smile big and ride safe (Sherri--- Super special mention to you here ;)

Some ladies I know better than others.  But, to each of you… it has been my pleasure and pain (Collective bruising) knowing all of you.  I look forward to watching from afar and hearing, reading and watching all about your new and exciting experiences. 

A very sincere thank you to Kenny

Five years ago we moved to Fallon without a single friend.  I can still remember clearly the day we found out we were being transferred from San Diego to Fallon, NV.  I was 8 months Pregnant with our first child.  We knew we were leaving San Diego but, the assignment was a surprise.  Dave came home and said, “I have orders to Fallon, NV”.  My first thought, like everyone from California… “Great! Nevada isn’t too far from home”, (Because when you are from California that is the only State you know as home) and, “I like Las Vegas”. (Because when you are from California the only City in Nevada is Las Vegas and every other City is only minutes from Las Vegas ;)  Anyhow, here we were trying to make it from one State to another in fast time.  I left California (for the first time ever), my job, my friends and my Family to be with Dave and our 8 week old Baby girl, Sienna.  We arrived on November 22, 2005, the day before Thanksgiving to an empty house.  We stayed in a hotel and even had to sneak our two large Dogs through a hotel window (Winston would have froze to death, big Sissy that he was).  Then, our furniture arrived and was dumped in various rooms of the house. It was all very surreal and over-whelming. 

Character building as I have come to recognize…

Within weeks, Dave needed some kind of weld or something related to metal and of course RACING.  He met Kenny there.  They became immediate friends.  Dave and Kenny have had some great times through their favorite hobbies; Racing buggies and, racing anything that goes fast and can be dangerous.  But, something else happened.   This guy became a golden friend, the truest kind of Friend.  There are not many of those in one lifetime.  Simply, Kenny has made Fallon a safer place for our Family.  Being here alone has had its times of very scary situations and truly no one to call, except Kenny.  He has truly been that one person who has been there for our family. 

Kenny, to simply say thank you seems like a vast understatement.  I hope you know what an amazing person you have been in our family.  Your family has become very special.  In fact,  It think Myles will forever have special dreams about his lifetime with Rylee and Liam will always think very fondly of your special and wonderful Renae. 

Dearest Dawn, I will Never, Ever forget the conversation over the phone in one of my most precious hours, Labor… which happened at 3-4am.  Kenny answered and was trying his best to relay the information, I could hear you, “What!!!???? 7 centimeters… I am ON MY WAY!!!!!!”  And you were there in minutes, so that Dave made it time to witness the birth of our second child.  Thank you in the biggest way.

The Navy/ Military sets up some “thing” that should help families like ours in remote areas like Fallon, NV.  Well, that didn’t happen here for us.  Your family was here and that made it “it” happen. Our Thank you is  sincere and endless.

I miss my Husband in a heartfelt Painful kinda way

It is very hard to explain to people who have no idea the sacrifice made by the Military wife and children.

           I will try. 

It is like the home we shared suddenly becomes a house that is not alive with the same energy.  The energy has changed.    The home changes into just a house and the one missing piece becomes the single defining factor changing the definition, it is our Husband.  I know, we are not active duty Military any longer… but, the situation is similar.  Only, he is not coming home.  We will be leaving soon... and joining him in another place.   I am not by nature a very serious person.  I try hard to find humor in everything.  But, sometimes it is not easy to excuse the sadness I am feeling.  I love my Husband.  I love the Father of my Children.  I miss my most favorite person. He isn’t here, he is missing and the picture puzzle of our life can’t be together until we are all together, no matter where that might be. 

 

To the idiot guy in Reno, NV

Okay, so I am standing at a bar in Reno (Which I can count on one hand how many times I have done that in the last five years), talking with my best girlfriend, Darcy ( Friend of 2o+ years… that I have NEVER even shared a drink with in our adult lives)  I say, “It is hot in here.”  Some random guy in his mid 50’s responds, “Maybe, you are having a hotflash.”  Calmly I retort, “Is that your best line?  No wonder you are standing ALONE in a crowded bar.”  He abrasively states, “Well, you are wearing a ring!”   Clearly, a ring means I must be very “hotflash-ish in his tiny brain…. Poor idiot.   In my mid-thirties, his ridiculous comment makes me thankful I am not in my twenties trying to decide if I look old or not. 

I wish there were some remedial class for Men of his …. Caliber.  It is always best to know that  to give respect is to earn respect.  Two things I think some are forgetting, WORK and EARN.  Two four letter words that I believe need immediate revisiting.